Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Flight Z will be ready for boarding at Waterstones, Wigan, this Saturday from 11am. Full details of your departure itinerary can be found at the website.
Passengers, are advised to buckle-up as the ride could well get bumpy.
Which is a very roundabout way of saying that Conrad Williams will be signing copies of his brilliant horror novel, Loss of Separation, at Waterstones, Wigan, this Saturday at 11am.