Andy Remic Wears Rubber Panties

And now, a message from Andy Remic, our resident 'certifiable film-making nurse idiot' and author of the hard-drinking, hard-fighting Combat-K series of military SF:-


So, I’ve just finished principal photography for the short promo film HARDCORE, in support of my new Combat K book which came out last month. Previously, my film for KELL’S LEGEND was a low budget affair, me and a cam and a couple of friends messing about in various Scottish forests. This time, we pushed the budget a little further and I wrote a script, we coerced a director (Colin Howarth) into filming, we had a proper cast and gun props, and the main location was a steelworks in Bury, the perfect spot for some bloody nurse zombie mayhem!

Whilst writing the short script, it seemed incredibly humorous to take a scene from the book where Franco Haggis “disguises” himself unconvincingly as a nurse in order to blend with all manner of medical deviants. If I’d followed this through mentally, I would have realised the reality of such a writing outcome!! Who gets to play Franco? Me. Who gets to wear rubber underwear? Me. Ha!

Still, much credit must go to Phil, boss-man at Bradshaw Profiles Ltd, the steelworks in Bury where we filmed on location – because, as I stepped from the toilets, a big fat man dressed as a nurse, wearing a sexy lace garter and carrying a real Remington pump-action shotgun, Phil didn’t so much as bat an eyelid – you know, as if gun-toting nurse transvestites stepped from that toilet cubicle ten times a day. However, he did comment that my nail varnish was particularly fetching.

The actual filming was an insanity of, er, insanity. Great fun, running around with guns shooting advancing dribbling zombie nurses. I was completely absorbed by the role, and entered a kind of Zen-like trance whereby for a while, I really believed I was there, and the zombies were freaking me out, and I was in Shaun of the Dead – or something. I also felt, at times, like I was in a computer game (such as Left 4 Dead) pumping round after round into sickly undead flesh. It was a bit of a surreal and confused experience, if the truth be told; but all the actors (the “talent”, to those in the know) had a great time despite -2⁰ conditions and copious amounts of syrupy blood and pus.

The guns (a Remington shotgun, 9mm Uzi and 9mm Luger machine-pistol) were very kindly supplied by The Fusilier Museum in Bury, and added a real air of authenticity (and yeah, I know, I know, more anachronisms—but then, did you realise Han Solo’s gun in Star Wars was actually a German “broom-handle” Mauser pistol from the early 1900s?). I digress. The staff at The Fusilier Museum were extremely helpful, and thanks must go to Colonel Glover for sanctioning gun release to a certifiable film-making nurse idiot.

As I went to bed that night, it was one of those strange situations – a strange day, in fact – where SO MUCH had happened during the day, your brain is fighting itself trying to decode and file a million strands of information… you know, where the things that happened in the morning (in this case, filming in Ramsbottom park) seemed like they happened a month previous! Madness.

Anyway, the HARDCORE film short is currently in post-production, and will go “live” in a couple of weeks at www.andyremic.com and www.solarisbooks.com.

You can also see some production stills at www.grungefilms.com.

And yes, I was wearing a bra and padded boobs.

And yes, rubber panties are damn uncomfortable! Hoho.

-Andy Remic. February 2010.