Monkeys Control Robots With Their Minds

I kid you not, since this is reported on CNN.
Monkeys with sensors implanted in their brains have learned to control a robot arm with their thoughts, using it to feed themselves with fruit and marshmallows. University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine scientists behind the experiment say it will lead to the creation of brain-controlled prosthetic limbs for amputees or patients with degenerative disorders.
Sure, you start them with fruit and marshmallows now. But where will this lead? I think the monkeys will be a tad bitter that they're being made to do stupid things by mad scientists, and they'll use their robot arms for nothing but Sweet Revenge. There, I've said my bit. Don't come complaining if there's a metallic tapping on your door one night. It might be one of the last things you ever hear before you're dragged down the street screaming; that is, other than the monkey squeals of delight as our new overlords begin their ascension.

Just sayin'.

3 comments:

James Maxey said...

My first thought on reading this story yesterday was, "I gotta get me one of those monkeys to pull the names out of my hat for the Dragonforge giveaway."

My second thought was, "Does George Mann know about this?"

Mark Newton said...

Some are suggesting that George is in fact deeply involved in the project. If those monkeys begin creating baked goods with those robot arms, people will begin asking serious questions...

Anonymous said...

I saw it two days ago in a newscast here in Brazil. I don´t know to what evil (or culinary) uses George would put them to, but I certainly would them to write two stories at the same time, with good, old-fashioned normal arms in the desktop PC, and the robot ones in my notebook. I wonder if I would need two brains as well, now.... :-)